Loosen the Grip of Perfectionism: Gratitude as Disruptor

“Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around, thinking it will protect us, when in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.” – Brené Brown

We know that perfectionism wears many masks often appearing as high standards, being detail-oriented, and a want to “get it right.” Behind our polished exterior, perfectionism is often our clever form of self-protection. A shield we carry to minimize guilt, avoid blame or shame, and even stay safe from criticism.

It makes sense, doesn’t it? When we experience the painful sting of being judged, the weight of never quite measuring up, or asking ourselves if we are enough. Perfection feels like control. It's a way for us to armor up. A way to stay ahead of the hurt.

But at what cost?

The Hidden Toll of Striving

Perfectionism isn’t a quiet trait to carry. It’s loud and creates a constant tension in the nervous system. Perfectionism whispers that what you’ve done isn’t enough, that who you are isn’t enough. This constant message over time becomes the incessant hum of anxiety. A backdrop of fear. An invisible burden that impacts your health, relationships, creativity, and joy.

Do you relate to any of the following?

• Constant stress or burnout from over-performing

• A fear of failure that leads to procrastination or paralysis

• A persistent voice of self-criticism and comparison

• Isolating from others because connection feels risky

When we become burdened by perfectionism, these feelings stack up and weigh us down. Even when striving does bring us success, it rarely brings us peace. This is because perfectionism really isn’t about our growth. No, it's more about avoidance. We're not trying to become our best self, we're just trying not to get found out.

The shield just became the cage.

Struggle Disguised as Strength

So there's this common narrative that struggle builds character. I agree, we can have resilience and understand that not all struggle is necessary. Nor is it healthy. Especially when our struggle is rooted in fear.

Striving, when fueled by perfectionism, is not growth. I know, you were lied to. I felt the same. It’s actually survival. And survival mode is exhausting.

Here's a simple fact. You don’t need more willpower. You need relief. Reconnection. Repatterning. And surprisingly, that begins with something small.

Gratitude as Disruptor

While Brené Brown offers three antidotes to perfectionism—vulnerability, authenticity, and self-compassion—I’ve found that a simple gratitude practice has the power to unlock all three. You loosen the grip of perfectionism.

And that’s what makes gratitude powerful.

When you pause to acknowledge what’s already working in your life, even if it’s small, you teach your mind and body a new way of seeing. A new way of being. You step off the hamster wheel of “not enough” and into the groundedness of “this is enough, right now.”

Gratitude doesn't mean we avoid pain. It does, however, help us to honor what is real and right in front of us. A gentle and even encouraging reminder that even in our struggle there is still beauty. Still choice. Still life.

Loosen the Grip of Perfectionism

The good news is that you don't need a fancy journal. Although, I'm all about them! Even better news is that you don't need a hour of free time every day. All you need is literally 5-minutes to return to what's already inside of you. To what’s already good.

Need a place to begin? Enroll in my free 7-day Gratitude Mini-Series. This mini-course was designed for perfectionists, overthinkers, and high-achievers who are ready for more joy but stuck on how to start or stay engaged in a gratitude practice.

In a world where too many options put your perfectionism into analysis-paralysis, this practice inspires you without the overwhelm in just a week!

👉 Join the 7-Day Gratitude Mini Series Here

(Free. Self-paced. No perfection required.)

With this series you'll:

• Be able to lay down your shield.

• Grow without punishing yourself.

• Appreciate yourself again.

It starts with one present moment of thanks.